Seeing Pain

I am feeling pain right now without a doubt.  I’m over-tired and I physically hurt.  But somehow in the last few days I’ve been snapped out of my unfortunate self-absorbed streak to actually see a broader view of the pain all around me.  And then I felt that pain too.

These are rough days.  Are they truly rougher than any other?  Well perhaps yes and no.  Yes in some ways because we do really well at making them be harder.  Our lifestyles and our habits don’t necessarily help us as much as we think or hope that they do or should.  And no because times have always been tough for somebody.  The present time is always a rough day for somebody.

I’ve been so busy lately, merely existing… being busy with commitments, with “life”, with music, with work, just with everything.  Learning little tidbits of worth along the way, tidbits that I am usually too tired to remember the next hour let alone the next day.  I don’t think I’ve been behaving particularly hard-done-by or anything, at least not for very long… I’ve just been too busy to think or notice much else but my own situations.

I had the privilege of stepping back quite recently and catching a glimpse of a broader view… a long overdue step back perhaps.  But I saw pain.  The pain of so many around me.  So many different kinds of pain.  So many different kinds of people.  It was too much to take in.  Overwhelming and sad.  Catching a vision of something is one thing…. not having a clue what to do with it is quite another.

I’m sure it has been said that fear can be a form a paralysis.  And I feel paralysed with this.  Perhaps by the fear that I can do nothing to help or make a difference in the world immediately around me.  But I so want to.  I want to see pain eased and wounds healed.  Ultimately lives changed.  The heart made fully alive by a God who formed us to be fully alive.

After a few days of walking around like the living dead, I know how disconnected I feel from the one who placed His heart in mine.  satan uses distraction to get to me, to many of us… but “seeing pain” brings me back and reminds me again there is more for all of us.  No matter where we are at on the journey… still there is more to follow.  There is no end to our endless God.

Now what?  We pray.  We act.  We simply serve each other instead of ourselves.  How contrary is that to the culture we live in!