Neither foot dragging on Him nor rushing ahead of Him are particularly useful to God’s plans.

It’s something everybody can help with, regardless of marital status, gender, relationship experience, etc.

The thought: Give marriage the respect it deserves.

The result: Stop joking about things that bring disrespect to what God intended marriage to be.  This includes joking about marriage itself or about spouses in a demeaning way, joking about sex, joking about divorce.  We need to stop bending standards we claim to hold because of the influence of the culture around us.  We need to stop placing ourselves in situations and climates that allow us to be negatively influenced.  We need to admit that we have been impacted in the first place.

We have become so thoughtless and flippant about these kinds of things.  What would happen if the standard that Christians held with regard to marriage and sex was reflected in all aspects of our lives?  Oh wait… it does get reflected in all aspects of our lives.

So, let’s restructure that question:  What would happen if the standard that Christians held with regard to marriage and sex was honourable and above reproach?  I think something pretty amazing would happen.  When we respect what God made marriage to be, we respect, please, and honour Him.  We allow our lives to be lived out within that design.  In turn, we also respect one another.  Our friends, family, spouses, complete strangers even.

End result?  God is glorified.

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.  (Psalm 37:4  NIV)

Have you noticed the focus often placed on “… he will give you…”?  Because we want the desires of our heart.  I know I sure do.

But…

The other part comes first… “Delight yourself in the Lord and…”

They are not disconnected, as much as we try to do that.  It is more like ’cause and effect’.

So, if I am sitting around expecting the desires of my heart to materialise without delighting myself in the Lord then I might as well keep on dreaming.

Placing our primary focus on God is ridiculously difficult because we really just want to focus on self.  When we delight in the Lord there is no room to delight in self because God is just soooo big.

And what of the desires of our heart?  He’ll place the best and truest ones within it, while we’re busy looking at Him most likely, and then He’ll delight in giving those desires to us.

You know, it does make sense.  After all, it is the desire of His heart for us to delight in Him, to know and love Him.

Just some Thursday morning thoughts as I wake up… in more ways than one.

My observation skills have been in overdrive lately considering and pondering far too many things.

Not much is easy.

• It’s not easy being single.  It’s not easy being married.
• It’s not easy living with your family.  It’s not easy being on your own.
• It’s not easy having kids.  It’s not easy not being able to have kids.
• It’s not easy working for a living.  It’s not easy being unemployed.
• It’s not easy taking on something that is new.  It’s not easy sticking to the same thing for a long time.
• It’s not easy being sick or injured.  It’s not easy watching people you love suffer.
• It’s not easy exercising to become truly fit.  It’s not easy exercising to challenge a truly fit body.
• It’s not easy being lonely.  It’s not easy being in demand.
• It’s not easy going unrecognized for things you’ve done.  It’s not easy being recognized for things you’ve done, especially if you remain unknown for who you actually are.
• It’s not easy when somebody else gets the credit.  It’s not easy when you get to take all the credit — or the blame.
• It’s not easy when you don’t know what you don’t know.  It’s not easy when you do know what you don’t know.
• It’s not easy to know what you want.  It’s not easy to get what you want.
• It’s not easy to recognize what you need.  It’s not easy to accept what you need.
• It’s not easy to view ourselves as others see us.  It’s not easy to stop trying to see ourselves as we believe others must see us.
• It’s not easy to be seen.  It’s not easy to be ignored.
• It’s not easy to stop writing like this when I could literally go on all night following this form…

With very few exceptions, regardless of what we do, or don’t do, there is an element of “It’s not easy…” to it.  Getting somewhere just isn’t easy.  Going nowhere usually isn’t easy either.  How often we long for or pine after something that isn’t our present experience.  A key point I’m trying to make tonight — and primarily to myself — is that the motivation had better not be because that “other thing” is easier.  Because not much is easy.

For me, this is a big lesson for some reason.  I’ve had to scrap the mentality of “if only … happened” or “it would be good when … finally happens”.  Sure, it has been great when some of these kinds of things have actually happened… and also sometimes for them to have come and passed by, thankfully.  But the value in these things must come from so much more than the thing itself.  It has to be about the journey to get there, or to survive it, or to be made more compassionate to others because of it, or to find joy, perhaps.

It’s not easy being green.  It’s not easy being human.  That’s the way it is.

But, “not easy” does not necessarily equate to “not good”, thankfully.  There are an awful lot of not easy things worth fighting for or fighting through.  And sometimes, even just worth putting up with.

• It’s not easy to be a good friend or family member or spouse or parent.  But how good these things can be, and are meant to be.
• It’s not easy to learn something new.  But how good that knowledge can be for us or for somebody else we can help because of it.
• It’s not easy to put up with crap day in and day out.  But how good it can be when we take that stupid stuff and relate to another person because of it, or shine brighter because we didn’t give up when things were rough, or perhaps because we chose not compromise standards despite the constant pressure.

It’s not easy.  Anybody who knows their Bible knows that Jesus’ life was not easy. Anybody who has been alive for a moment knows it’s not easy.  But it is possible.  And there is value in living out the “not easy” things.  ”For nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 1:36-37)  And nothing wasted either.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)

- Not sure what a “yoke” or a “burden” refers to in this passage?  Take a look at this commentary for more insight.

Tonight I was thinking that, even with all of that long and winding road of an experience, there must always come a point where it’s the figurative “night before”. What does that make it — Overnight Success Eve?  I don’t know.  Whatever we try to call or not call it, there is always that moment even if we cannot recognize it.

So, is it the same with dreams?  Sometimes we wait an awfully long time wondering if a dream will come to pass or fall by the wayside.  Sometimes we can “make our dreams come true”.  A good friend recently said something to this effect: a dream becomes a goal only when we set the plan in motion to achieve it.  I liked that thought very much.  It puts the responsibility and the accountability to me to DO SOMETHING.  Oh initiative…

But sometimes there isn’t much we can do with our dreams but wait.  Watch.  Pray.  Be patient.  Wonder.  Worry.  Forget.  Remember.  Dream some more.  And sometimes we find out that our dream isn’t actually the dream we thought it was.  Maybe we’re not fully aware of the dream yet.  Perhaps it’s not fully formed in our mind’s eye.  Or maybe God’s got something in mind that we can’t even handle yet, so that part of the dream is not revealed to our hearts until the time is right.

Whatever the journey is right now, whatever the dream – big or small, we can rest assured that (as another friend said, and I re-quote frequently) God wastes nothing.  If you believe Him to be the God of all the details (and I definitely do) then you get this statement.  He will put all our experiences to use – especially when we let Him.

And just think…

like with the overnight successes… one morning we could wake up to find a day where a dream or two will come true.  The sleep might have been fitful or beautifully restful, but the morning brings word of His unfailing love.  And with that the hope of dreams realised.

In thinking about redefinition I find myself needing to consider the present definitions.  Maybe that’s the problem.  What is the definition of Donna?  ’Things’ around me are being defined and redefined all the time and, except for my initial reactions to the uncomfortableness of change, this is usually good in the end.  Somehow.

But what of the Donna definition?  At the risk of being my stereotypical self and being super analytical, who the heck do I think I am?!  What defines me… or rather, what things do I allow to (erroneously) define me?  What patterns, habits, thoughts, etc. keep me from being the best Donna ever?  I won’t list these all out here (sorry) but maybe I’m not the only one needing to consider such a list these days.

Ultimately, the love of Jesus defines me.  Or at least it ought to.  And because I want for it to, wherever it doesn’t quite shine through I know those are some of the areas that need some redefining.

I’ve never been one for “breaking habits”… I have always preferred to replace bad (already ‘broken’, perhaps!) habits with new, better habits.  But I’ve never really given myself much credit for my better habits either.  Upon reflection, this may have been an oversight that has lead to the occasional breakdown of these same better habits.

Now, I tend not to do formal New Year’s resolutions anymore.  I think goals and good choices and changes can be made at any time and waiting for the new year to place them in effect is counter productive in many cases.  But it’s definitely true that the end of a calendar year often comes with times of reflection and re-assessment.  Maybe because some of us actually take the time to stop our crazy busy lives and relax or spend time with family (or both if we’re fortunate!).  It’s often a good time to “reset” and start fresh.  So I’ve set a goal or two, and am always clad with one dream or another, but I’m really stuck on this idea of the “definition”.

Yup – I can get all melancholic and wonder if anybody will take a chance on me… but perhaps herein lies a fault in the present definition?  Maybe it’s time that I take a chance on myself.  That would be an example of a redefinition if I ever saw one.  Too bad I have no idea what that would look like… but I do like the sound of it.

Defining Donna… Redefining Donna… Finding Donna?  Oh Donnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaa????!  Where are youuuuuuuuuuuu?

The truth is that it can be quite difficult to blog at anytime.  Sometimes I just don’t know what to say… or whether it really matters that I tried a curried egg experiment or saw the Houston space cow at the airport.  Sometimes I figure I live in a virtual world too often as it is… should I really share oodles of thoughts virtually as well?  Is there any value to those thoughts anyway?  Sometimes I wonder if I should share personal experiences about things I’ve done or things I’m living through… if people in “real life” want to hear it any more than people in online life, or are they all the same people anyway?

The truth is that it can be quite difficult to figure myself out as it is.  So should I really do that online?  Should I stick to weather and music and the occasional computer geeky thing with a splash of theological thought thrown in?  Should I dissect myself for all to see?  Or does the weather and music and computer geeky and theological thought do that enough on its own?

I don’t know.  Lately I have found out that I don’t know much, but a few folk here and there seem to have the impression that I actually do.  And yet I know less now than I ever did before.  And this isn’t just the rapid decline in my memory or fact retention that I’ve witnessed in the last year.  (Funny how I remember THAT!  Would be nice to not realise I used to be a better remember-er… even if I wasn’t that great at it to begin with!)

Things in life are overwhelming for me right now.  Little things.  Big things.  Most every thing.  I’m really hoping that it’s just a phase.  And even if there is no hope of that, I keep hoping just the same!   So, maybe I will want to blog about some of those things.  Or maybe I will want to avoid all of those things completely and just type something that may be slightly of interest just because I enjoy words.  Or maybe not.

But here I am tonight.  In my home in Guelph.  Dreaming of a great many things.  Possibly worrying about a great many more.  Definitely wanting things I should not have.  And needing things that are already within my grasp, but I somehow forget to close my grip.

This is September.  This is Donna.  Still livin’, people.  Yes indeedy.

These are rough days.  Are they truly rougher than any other?  Well perhaps yes and no.  Yes in some ways because we do really well at making them be harder.  Our lifestyles and our habits don’t necessarily help us as much as we think or hope that they do or should.  And no because times have always been tough for somebody.  The present time is always a rough day for somebody.

I’ve been so busy lately, merely existing… being busy with commitments, with “life”, with music, with work, just with everything.  Learning little tidbits of worth along the way, tidbits that I am usually too tired to remember the next hour let alone the next day.  I don’t think I’ve been behaving particularly hard-done-by or anything, at least not for very long… I’ve just been too busy to think or notice much else but my own situations.

I had the privilege of stepping back quite recently and catching a glimpse of a broader view… a long overdue step back perhaps.  But I saw pain.  The pain of so many around me.  So many different kinds of pain.  So many different kinds of people.  It was too much to take in.  Overwhelming and sad.  Catching a vision of something is one thing…. not having a clue what to do with it is quite another.

I’m sure it has been said that fear can be a form a paralysis.  And I feel paralysed with this.  Perhaps by the fear that I can do nothing to help or make a difference in the world immediately around me.  But I so want to.  I want to see pain eased and wounds healed.  Ultimately lives changed.  The heart made fully alive by a God who formed us to be fully alive.

After a few days of walking around like the living dead, I know how disconnected I feel from the one who placed His heart in mine.  satan uses distraction to get to me, to many of us… but “seeing pain” brings me back and reminds me again there is more for all of us.  No matter where we are at on the journey… still there is more to follow.  There is no end to our endless God.

Now what?  We pray.  We act.  We simply serve each other instead of ourselves.  How contrary is that to the culture we live in!

Anyway, one thing I am almost too good and too comfortable with is online chatting. Not emails as much as instant messaging, where both parties are present, although often in two distinctly different locations, and sharing in a real-time conversation via computer. Note I said “often” — this would be because I spend 5-days a week at the office sending various instant messages to people who sit within a stones throw of my desk. Actually less than a stones throw… I can throw a stone pretty far.

I have had a number of very deep, spiritual, personal kind of conversations over the years via one instant messaging program or another. One might call it “mentoring”. Or maybe “available”. Or better still, simply a friend. But nonetheless, that has become part of what I do and how I communicate with people who are geographically located all over the place.

There are many things about instant messaging that are less than perfect. You can’t tell how somebody is reacting for certain — only with a sense of who the person is in real life, or by discernment, can we get an idea of this. Also, some things literally get lost in transmission. I’ve had messages critical to the ongoing discussion never get to the recipient… the messages before and after, yes, but not the one that had the meat in it. If I’m lucky and catch on, I can resend it, but not always does it work out.

BUT… (apart from the obvious advantage of talking to these people in the first place) to me the best thing about instant messaging is the “think time” that it can provide. Granted, I am a fast typer and can let my response messages get sent off a lot quicker than I intended, sharing stellar remarks such as “that’s so goo” or “okya!”. But most of the time, the “think time” does apply.

I don’t take “think time” nearly enough in real person to person conversations (either on the phone or in person). Maybe I always feel the pressure to respond immediately, even without thinking something through. But when online, I can craft a somewhat witty response, or (on the other end of the spectrum) take a moment to pray or listen for the best response.

We’ve all experienced receiving a message where our out loud (negative) reaction is along the lines of “OH, come on!!! You’ve got to be kidding me!!” and our filtered reply is “oh really?” or “ok, that’s fine”, usually because there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. For some of us, we do this in person too… although many people don’t.

I like “think time” because it allows for a more quality response. By the time I finish typing my reply, having already re-read the typed out parts many times while typing the rest, I can immediately assess whether it is a good response… whether it is clear, kind, appropriate, spelled correctly…. any number of things. It’s just that smidgen slower (even for quick typists) in process time that it allows for the “think time” that is so easily discarded within the structure of in person exchanges.

Maybe I need to start typing my comments, questions, replies out in my head before sharing with the auditory world?

Having shared all of that, I don’t think I’m going to proofread this tonight. Hahahahhaa! Just more typing out loud.

Till another time, O live, people!!

New Year’s comes and New Year’s goes.  We say “this year I will exercise 3 times a week for half an hour” or “this year I will commit to read through the entire Bible”.  We set these goals, sometimes not quite so specifically.  I am very skilled at opting for vague goals.  I think somewhere along the line I felt this might increase my chances of success when I could re-interpret by years end.  For example, “I want to spend more time in prayer” or “I want to cultivate more intentional relationships”.  The only thing I can be accountable to is my original intention behind setting the goal in the first place.  There is nothing within these goals that truly define anything.

So, it’s mid-March and I’m going on about discipline and New Year’s resolutions and you ask “Why is that?”  Maybe if I applied more discipline in crafting a clear-cut blog post you might already have your answer.  But alas, you’re stuck with what you see.  As for the “why” of this post, it certianly isn’t because I have answers.  But I had a thought last night.  (Just one… I have a quota and I try not to go over it very often.)

What if we take a more holistic view of discipline?  What if we allow the motivation for our physical exercise to be a by-product of our prayer life which in turn helps us focus on others, who may be the people we end up exercising with and then later praying with?  What if we listen to podcasts of solid Scriptural teaching or audio books of C.S. Lewis (for example) while running/walking/treadmilling, or do memory work of Bible verses while we do push-ups, sit-ups, chin-ups?  What if we practise our music for band, but make it part of our devotional time when we look up and reflect upon the words of the featured tunes?  What if getting up in the morning to meet with God could become the opportunity to literally walk with Him and talk with Him?

Just thinking…. but also wondering what discipline and lifestyle really are about.

Until another random thought… O Live, People!