If you want to follow along (or laugh at Donna trying to use Twitter) http://www.twitter.com/olivepeople

But Michael Moore’s look at the American health care system (comparing it to other countries throughout the world including Canada, the UK, France, and even Cuba) is truly eye opening.  It makes me glad to be in Canada.  It makes me vaguely interested in moving to France.  (If you watch it, you’ll understand why!)  But also makes me question why the Canadian (Ontario, even) way of doing healthcare is… so… incomplete.

I’m grateful for good insurance through my employer… I do recall days where I didn’t have any.  And I’m grateful for essential coverage through the provincial government… again, especially for times when I didn’t have anything else to fall back on.  But why is everything about money?  Healthcare should be an example of something that is solely about quality.  I know that, at present, I’m not informed enough to contrast and compare with specifics and hard, cold facts.  But I’ve had just enough firsthand experience over the years to know that the healthcare workers don’t get what they deserve or need (at least not the good ones!) and often enough neither do the patients.

Anyway – watch the film.  Think for yourself.  Ask questions.  Covet change and work toward that change.

With regard to the freedom of the individual for choice with regard to abortion, there’s one individual who’s not being considered at all. That’s the one who is being aborted. And I’ve noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born.

– Ronald Reagan

Then… I turned the Rogers cable remote control over.  www.urcsupport.com was listed under the instructions that did me no good.  But I hadn’t been to that site yet, so I thought I would try.

BEST THING I ever could have done in this situation!  Found out the Olevia TV code for my remote was 1610… promptly learned that I could control the power and volume from the cable remote, and rejoiced in my victory.  Looks like a useful site for people trying to simplify down to a single remote.  Hopefully it helps somebody else out there!

I may be some kind of master of spin. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or not… but if it is the case, I like to think it can be used for good…. seeeee? SPIN!  Even so, one thing lacking in me lately has been a spirit of thankfulness. And what better way to get cultivating that again than to count blessings and give thanks to the Giver of those blessings.

Let’s give it a go… Great things from the last 24 hours.
> Going out to lunch with a friend I rarely spend much time talking with face-to-face.
> Knowing that I have 5 days off once I get through my current work assignment.
> Being smart enough to wear an extra layer or two today.
> Getting happy emails from good friends.
> Recalling happy memories and thoughts of good friends.
> Nice tunes to push me through the work before me…

Work… back to work… but yes, that helped.

I decided to ask Google.  I haven’t done this for a while, so maybe I would learn new, exciting things about myself…

So… Google… searching… on:  ”Donna Harris is”

The bestest and most interesting responses? <and my comments in angle brackets!>

1. Donna Harris is on Facebook.  <well duh…>
2. Dr. Donna Harris isInstalled as Eighth President of Minnehaha Academy.  <i’m not, but if i were, that would be among the greatest named places ever to be the 8th president of!>
3. Donna Harris is the chief operating officer at NSI and carries a broad array of corporate leadership expertise across small and large businesses.  <sounds… not like me…>
4. Donna Harris is the manager of the Mirage poker room, the second largest cardroom in Las Vegas.  <haha… oh my>
5. Donna Harris is remarkably well informed about community and economic development, particularly downtown programs such as Main Street and the intersection of economic development with heritage issues. She is generous with her knowledge, responsive to her clients, and she communicates extremely well.  <economics not so much, but the latter part would be good to be…>
6. Donna Harris Is this you?  <hahaha sure it is…>
7. Donna Harris is friends with <Kizzi__666>.  <i somehow doubt it…>
8. Donna Harris is a Teaching Fellow in Development Economics, Faculty of Economics, University of Cambridge.  <again with the economics… no… but teaching at Cambridge sounds pretty wicked awesome>
9. Miss Donna Harris is probably the only parole officer ever mentioned in the “Thank you’s” of any rap album.  <if i were a parole officer, this might actually have been me…>
10. Donna Harris is on TV 0 times in the next two weeks.  <this is true… i haven’t been on TV since 1995>
11. Donna Harris is the songwriter-arranger for the group, and sings the third vocal line much of the time.  <HAHA this IS me… from the Marked By Love website>
12. DONNA HARRIS is AWESOME!!!  <i did not plant this, i promise you.>
13. Donna Harris is the museum manager.  <umm… no.>
14. Donna Harris is a fictional character from the long running ITV drama The Bill.  <some days i feel like a fictional character…>
15. Donna Harris is a reporter for The Mississippi Press.  <i am not, but i can spell Mississippi… and Mississauga>
16. Donna Harris is a solo artist as well as a collaborator.  <ALSO me… myspace profile this time>
17. Donna Harris is the new Director of Children’s Ministry.  <no, although there are times it may feel like it… hahahah>
18. Donna Harris is always fun to be around.  <always is a stretch, but i’d like to think i’m pretty fun>
19. DONNA.HARRIS is glad its the weekend!!  <YES!!  and it is for me too… it’s my Friday this Tuesday!  yay!>
20. Donna Harris is an MSc graduate of the Economic History.  <no no no – not economics>
21. Donna Harris is working on how to post pictures!  <i did figure this out a while back actually…>
22. Donna Harris is a busy mom.  <not today, but one day i hope.>
23. Donna Harris is the # 1557 ranked full name in Wyoming.  <this is the coolest Donna Harris fact ever.>
24. DONNA HARRIS is warned to appear in this court within 30 days of the first publication of this Warning Order… <how did i miss this… was it in Wyoming?  the poker room? sheesh…>

Thus endeth the pointless post.

In thinking about redefinition I find myself needing to consider the present definitions.  Maybe that’s the problem.  What is the definition of Donna?  ’Things’ around me are being defined and redefined all the time and, except for my initial reactions to the uncomfortableness of change, this is usually good in the end.  Somehow.

But what of the Donna definition?  At the risk of being my stereotypical self and being super analytical, who the heck do I think I am?!  What defines me… or rather, what things do I allow to (erroneously) define me?  What patterns, habits, thoughts, etc. keep me from being the best Donna ever?  I won’t list these all out here (sorry) but maybe I’m not the only one needing to consider such a list these days.

Ultimately, the love of Jesus defines me.  Or at least it ought to.  And because I want for it to, wherever it doesn’t quite shine through I know those are some of the areas that need some redefining.

I’ve never been one for “breaking habits”… I have always preferred to replace bad (already ‘broken’, perhaps!) habits with new, better habits.  But I’ve never really given myself much credit for my better habits either.  Upon reflection, this may have been an oversight that has lead to the occasional breakdown of these same better habits.

Now, I tend not to do formal New Year’s resolutions anymore.  I think goals and good choices and changes can be made at any time and waiting for the new year to place them in effect is counter productive in many cases.  But it’s definitely true that the end of a calendar year often comes with times of reflection and re-assessment.  Maybe because some of us actually take the time to stop our crazy busy lives and relax or spend time with family (or both if we’re fortunate!).  It’s often a good time to “reset” and start fresh.  So I’ve set a goal or two, and am always clad with one dream or another, but I’m really stuck on this idea of the “definition”.

Yup – I can get all melancholic and wonder if anybody will take a chance on me… but perhaps herein lies a fault in the present definition?  Maybe it’s time that I take a chance on myself.  That would be an example of a redefinition if I ever saw one.  Too bad I have no idea what that would look like… but I do like the sound of it.

Defining Donna… Redefining Donna… Finding Donna?  Oh Donnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaa????!  Where are youuuuuuuuuuuu?

The truth is that it can be quite difficult to blog at anytime.  Sometimes I just don’t know what to say… or whether it really matters that I tried a curried egg experiment or saw the Houston space cow at the airport.  Sometimes I figure I live in a virtual world too often as it is… should I really share oodles of thoughts virtually as well?  Is there any value to those thoughts anyway?  Sometimes I wonder if I should share personal experiences about things I’ve done or things I’m living through… if people in “real life” want to hear it any more than people in online life, or are they all the same people anyway?

The truth is that it can be quite difficult to figure myself out as it is.  So should I really do that online?  Should I stick to weather and music and the occasional computer geeky thing with a splash of theological thought thrown in?  Should I dissect myself for all to see?  Or does the weather and music and computer geeky and theological thought do that enough on its own?

I don’t know.  Lately I have found out that I don’t know much, but a few folk here and there seem to have the impression that I actually do.  And yet I know less now than I ever did before.  And this isn’t just the rapid decline in my memory or fact retention that I’ve witnessed in the last year.  (Funny how I remember THAT!  Would be nice to not realise I used to be a better remember-er… even if I wasn’t that great at it to begin with!)

Things in life are overwhelming for me right now.  Little things.  Big things.  Most every thing.  I’m really hoping that it’s just a phase.  And even if there is no hope of that, I keep hoping just the same!   So, maybe I will want to blog about some of those things.  Or maybe I will want to avoid all of those things completely and just type something that may be slightly of interest just because I enjoy words.  Or maybe not.

But here I am tonight.  In my home in Guelph.  Dreaming of a great many things.  Possibly worrying about a great many more.  Definitely wanting things I should not have.  And needing things that are already within my grasp, but I somehow forget to close my grip.

This is September.  This is Donna.  Still livin’, people.  Yes indeedy.

These are rough days.  Are they truly rougher than any other?  Well perhaps yes and no.  Yes in some ways because we do really well at making them be harder.  Our lifestyles and our habits don’t necessarily help us as much as we think or hope that they do or should.  And no because times have always been tough for somebody.  The present time is always a rough day for somebody.

I’ve been so busy lately, merely existing… being busy with commitments, with “life”, with music, with work, just with everything.  Learning little tidbits of worth along the way, tidbits that I am usually too tired to remember the next hour let alone the next day.  I don’t think I’ve been behaving particularly hard-done-by or anything, at least not for very long… I’ve just been too busy to think or notice much else but my own situations.

I had the privilege of stepping back quite recently and catching a glimpse of a broader view… a long overdue step back perhaps.  But I saw pain.  The pain of so many around me.  So many different kinds of pain.  So many different kinds of people.  It was too much to take in.  Overwhelming and sad.  Catching a vision of something is one thing…. not having a clue what to do with it is quite another.

I’m sure it has been said that fear can be a form a paralysis.  And I feel paralysed with this.  Perhaps by the fear that I can do nothing to help or make a difference in the world immediately around me.  But I so want to.  I want to see pain eased and wounds healed.  Ultimately lives changed.  The heart made fully alive by a God who formed us to be fully alive.

After a few days of walking around like the living dead, I know how disconnected I feel from the one who placed His heart in mine.  satan uses distraction to get to me, to many of us… but “seeing pain” brings me back and reminds me again there is more for all of us.  No matter where we are at on the journey… still there is more to follow.  There is no end to our endless God.

Now what?  We pray.  We act.  We simply serve each other instead of ourselves.  How contrary is that to the culture we live in!